Paris for President

Paris for President!


For Rent/Lease/Sale: Multi-talented boy genius

Age: 28
Sex: Male, but looks good in platforms when necessary
Talents: Innumerable.
  • hyperanalytic 360 degree problem identification and resolution
  • health care
  • financials
  • fashion
  • event management
  • attention to detail
  • lolspeak
I actually enjoy being tethered to a blackberry 24/7, prefer to eat lunch while working, survive especially well on a conference line 18 hours/day, and really only need to sleep 4-6 hours/night.

If you pay me well enough, I will spend 60% of my income on clothes to look cute while in the office.

Vegan, enjoys the French, can subsist entirely on champagne and mixed nuts and berries for days at a time, and has exceptionally well-groomed facial hair. Also well-moisturised.

Infinitely relocatable, and wouldn't mind traveling 28 days/month.

Please contact directly with offers/position ideas. Kthx.


Open skies

I just saw a shooting star for the first time ever.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T



I'm still in KC,MO visiting Duncan - We putzed around the Crown Center today (Hallmark owns about 3 football field-sized blocks of downtown (or uptown or whatever they call that area) here), which is the strangest mall I've ever seen - it's actually carpeted... We also got totally lost in the underground car park which runs the length of the mall - had we made a left instead of a right, we would not have spent 30 minutes meandering aimlessly through a subterranean exhaust trap and instead would have been at the car in 30 seconds. But we didn't and it was still rad.

They sell wine at the Costco here, which in a neverending fascination for me - I'm drinking a glass of menage a trois and rereading Queer, which I left at his Philadelphia house about 2 years ago... I just happened upon the section about Don't Panic tshirts, and realised how old I am...

Then I realised that I'm still just as fierce as I ever was, and I continue to be entirely sync'd to the pop zeitgeist at all times... But the boredom continues - I see the lives of acquaintances at Red Tettemer or the non profs and I'm just... so jealous. I love my telecommuting and my ability to say 'fuck off' via an out of office message, but quite frankly, I'd give it all up in a heartbeat to be able to wear funzier clothes to work and actually be in an office where Republicanism isn't the norm. And where dyeing my hair wouldn't cause a stir. I hate the whitebreadedness of it. Yawn. I might even be willing to start back at the bottom if it meant I'd actually enjoy what I'm doing. But surely someone can use these crazy politikin' and analytical skills? Maybe?

I'd be so good as a events manager/styling director, it's sick. Just sick.

Mental lethargy...

I'm so bored with life, and everything I do to fix that seems to not work. I need a creative outlet of some sort, or a more creative job. It's all just so... Dull.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T


Bedtime is alone time, Tank!

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T


Today's Honest Tea Quote/Underused Words

"Beware the flatterer; he feeds you with an empty spoon." - Cosino DeGregrio

Peculiarly - pe·cu·liar·ly, adverb
—Synonyms 1. eccentric, bizarre. See strange. 2. extraordinary, singular, exceptional. 5. individual, personal, particular, special, unique.


The Dandy, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

A time long ago, an erstwhile young dandy in a thriving shire shuttered the edifice of home, a monument to the ruins of love, and sought refuge in the snow capped mountains to the North.

He braved the scorn and contempt of the Wicked Queen and her despondent frail King, the violent temperament of the Mother of Bastards, and looked on in vain as the Fairy Princess, surrounded by the motley gaggle of dour, grew dark and bitter.

The dandy maintained the trappings of his kind, and sought to add light and beauty (with a keen sense of seating placement) to the foreboding Cave of Wonder.

Fecunt in the ways of the craftsmen, he sat defeated at the base of the metal platform meant to aid in the blocking of the cold.

Suddenly, the dandy remembered the lore of his people - "Never cry unless it is a part in a play." The dandy knew not of the thespian ways and could not shed but a tear, for the Evil Queen had long since robbed him of such release

"To wit, I'll show the Evil Queen and the frail King!" cried the young dandy.

He donned the magic haberdashery from the Wizard Gucci, and called upon a strange contraption for advice...
"I would say I'm sorry
If I thought that it would change your mind
But I know that this time
I've said too much
Been too unkind"

The cries of the stranger lifted the dandy on wings of inspiration, and the problem he did solve...

Joey 1, Insulation 0.

Motherfucker, think I'm playin'!


The Relevance of Dissidence

As the corporate life continues to stranglehold my free time and I get more involved with graduate coursework, I'm busier than I thought I might be - I just remembered I'm supposed to be blogging...

The problem, I think, with always working and running from place to place is that I can't talk about work-related issues due to non-disclosure crap - Casual conversation lends itself much better to an "I hate that motherfucker from " than locking something into a public print format... And do you really want me to post my biostatistics homework?

Didn't think so.

Do we need another gay guy telling us how much he dislikes the McCain/Palin agenda? How much he likes Cindy McCain? How about how I still think Hillzbot should be in this race, but would sack my support of her in a second if Nancy Pelosi would even nod in the general direction of campaigning?

The Real Housewives of Atlanta? Are you kidding me? I know Atlanta is wealthy, and the South isn't nearly as bad as Yanks like me like to believe, but wtf. I am a total addict for glamour and excess, but those bitches make me kind of ill - "I'd like to buy a Cadillac Escalade today, fully loaded." Fully loaded? Who says that besides someone who only knows that they are spending money, not what they are purchasing. When did it become OK to flaunt nouveau riche? This was always my problem with The Real Housewives of Orange County - Trash with money is still trash. Just because you put a skank in a Mercedes does not mean she is no longer a skank.

Before I get to the point, there is another quote from the trailer for that show that really annoys the fuck out of me - the "housewife" who is married to a professional athlete and talks about how she 'always knew she was going to grow up to be a success.' Congratulations, you colossal waste of life - 200 years of African-American oppression, an entire city whose black wealth base exists because of people who fought against the mindless exploitation of other humans, an entire world of opportunities for you to excel in any arena you choose, and your "success" is a mirror image of the 'When I grow up, I want to marry a wealthy man' agenda reared and perfected in East Coast country clubs. Fuck me with a fingerling potato, let's all stop trying to achieve anything other than languishing in the questionable accomplishments of our "professional" athlete spouses so we can further cement our reputation as the second most disgustingly wasteful and irregahdless place in the world (those crazy motherfuckers in Dubai and China tie for first in my head)... I expect better of everyone.

So if this is where we're at - This glorification of nothing to a degree where even the most irrelevant of irrelevants have a reality show where there is no objective or contest other than to see exactly how much Summer's Eve product placement you can do in a room full of douchebags before the viewing audience realises they've been duped into yet another 43 minutes of treacle peppered with 16.75 minutes of advertisements whose creation involved countless hours of research to perfect the angle of manipulation.

Last night, I saw Margaret Cho's Beautiful tour at the Merriam Theater - Rudy took me as part of my birthday gift (somehow we got to birthday gifts 2 months late, but still haven't exchanged Christmas presents from 2007). I love Margaret, and I really enjoyed the show - she was deliciously vicious in the appropriate places, opening the entire show with "I fucking hate Sarah Palin!" (see, I told you we didn't need another gay man blogging about it - the Asian faghags have it covered). I left thinking the performance was far better than the Assassin tour or I Have Chosen To Stay and Fight, but now I'm questioning that - The Assassin tour was so politically charged - everyone was mad as hell at Bush for creating the biggest mess this country had seen in decades, lying about Iraq, WMD, Afghanistan, No Child Left Behind, health care, taxes, spending, wastefulness... the list went on and on - and it seems at that time, less people actually cared - the entire country was in this 09/11 refractory period, desperately wanking at it's political concern, trying in vain to get it up but creating performance anxiety that basically caused our willing bottom to roll over and go to sleep. Did that translate well? We should have impeached the Commander-in-Chief in 2003. And 2004. And 2005. And 2006. And 2007. We should have impeached his Crony-In-Waiting - or at least charged him with reckless endangerment when he shot someone... Why have we stopped talking about Guantanamo Bay? Why have we not overturned the Patriot Act as unconstitutional? Why have we not 'done anything' about Darfur? Why do we think it's OK to stop asking WHY?

Why are we so goddamn afraid to ask for any change that doesn't come in the form of an overly homogenized black man and his anodyne, milky white, dull-as-dishwater wife with her DC blowout? Or our other option, that angry midget who is still annoyed about that time the other guys plotting against Caesar didn't tell him about the happy hour with his drug-addled bitch wife (love you Cinds!) who always looks like she's about two seconds away from pulling a blade from under her tongue and a hammer from her Birkin and JUST GO FUCKING OFF ON SOMEONE... and that person should be that seal-clubbing, anti-choice, autocastrating, bitch running mate - Seriously, what the fuck is that woman's problem? I have not seen a politician work so adamantly at reversing the flow of progress and solidification of the rights of citizens since the current Asshole In Charge tried to create a Constitutional amendment REMOVING rights... These are our choices to lead a world superpower... Really?

Does anyone remember Margaret's Notorious C.H.O. tour? Her closing speech, about being a minority and loving yourself? I love this speech, because it makes me feel alive... And when I watch it again, it reminds me why shows like The Real Housewives of Atlanta exist - If we can watch nouveau riche trash go to parties and pretend that the entire world is OK, any action we take makes us better than them. As long as we go for the most conservative proponent of change, it's OK for us to not ITMF that spent 8 years digging a hole so deep we lost the shovel and the map....

I respect Obaby and O'Biden for their 'progressive' politics - Yes, get rid of Don't Ask, Don't Tell... But do not stand up in front of an entire country and tell me that you are in my corner. Do not campaign with your Obaby posters with a rainbow background and then tell me you do not support gay marriage. Do not tell me that. Do not tell me that a "separate but equal" policy doesn't ring a little close to home. Or did you, Senator Obama, like the Housewives of Atlanta, forget history?

I do not want "progressive" politics and the "progress" they enact. I want the change that was promised. And the only changes I can see are to the promises that were made.

Wow. I am an angry gay man.