For Rent/Lease/Sale: Multi-talented boy genius

Age: 28
Sex: Male, but looks good in platforms when necessary
Talents: Innumerable.
Specialties:

• hyperanalytic 360 degree problem identification and resolution
• health care
• financials
• fashion
• event management
• attention to detail
• lolspeak

I actually enjoy being tethered to a blackberry 24/7, prefer to eat lunch while working, survive especially well on a conference line 18 hours/day, and really only need to sleep 4-6 hours/night.

If you pay me well enough, I will spend 60% of my income on clothes to look cute while in the office.

Vegan, enjoys the French, can subsist entirely on champagne and mixed nuts and berries for days at a time, and has exceptionally well-groomed facial hair. Also well-moisturised.

Infinitely relocatable, and wouldn't mind traveling 28 days/month.

Please contact directly with offers/position ideas. Kthx.