A friend, returning from a ski trip to the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania, told me "You really do live in some beautiful country." It's probably true - all of the changes in elevation, the deciduous and evergreen trees blanketing the hillsides, valleys of farmland, crisp mountain air... blahblahblah.
I'm a city boy. I was raised here in the mountains, but I've known since I was a tyke (probably the same time I realised I liked boys) that I don't belong here. I moved back to be around my family and "find myself" near the end of August 2008. And now I can't wait to leave.
The Philadelphia area is beckoning, but only because I'm part-time enrolled in a graduate program there. My job isn't any different. My friends have increased in number but decreased in frequency of contact... It just feels wrong to be here.
I don't know where to go or what to do, to live alone or with someone else, but I'm bored, and it's depressing, and I'm still spinning my wheels at the same point I was a year ago. I feel like I've wasted almost an entire year.
Fuck.
3 days ago
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